Confessions of A Dangerous Mind
by Kalliscope
Summary: - - VOID - - - I'm a monster. I'm a monster. She's concerned with burning and Joel just so happens to have already been in the flames. Follow Izzy as she joins Ellie and Joel on their journey to the Fireflies. And learn just how savage you can become when it comes to surviving. - Joel/OC -


**_If you started reading my collection of one shots – I only made it to two until I gave up and went for this story – One Happy, Fucked Up Family, then you know my OC Izzy. Well, this is sort of her back story, what she became during her post-apocalypse time and how she came to be with Joel and Ellie. I hope you all enjoy and please review!_**

**_Other: the things mentioned in One Happy, Fucked Up Family about Izzy are changed in this because then you guys would know too much already._**

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><p><em>"It's unclear now what we intend<br>We're alone in our own world  
>You don't wanna be my boyfriend<br>and I don't wanna be your girl  
>and that, that's a relief<br>and pine for summer  
>and we'll buy beer to shotgun<br>and we'll lay in the lawn  
>and we'll be good<em>

- _Be Good, Emily Kinney_

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><p>When the alarms were raised, I didn't know what to think.<p>

I knew it was bad, of course I knew it was bad.

But I was alone, and I didn't know what to do.

No wait…I wasn't alone.

"Aunt Rae Rae!"

Jessica?

My eyes snapped open and I looked out to my window, which was lit by flames coming from the hospital next door to my apartment complex. What the hell was going on? I slid out of bed, somehow still not too affected by what was going on out there. I grabbed my robe and jogged to my door, sliding it on my shoulders until I was in the hallway. Then I froze. I could hear the screaming, the manic laughter, the boots slapping against the concrete even from three stories up.

And then I heard Jessica again.

"Aunt Rae Rae, please!"

_Living room, dumbass._

I ran nodded to my inner voice and hurried down the hallway, grabbing the metal bat from behind the desk at the end of that hallway. I held it tightly in my hands and rounded the corner to the kitchen, seeing my front door open. Why was it open? Were those hinges bent? What the hell happened? Who had Jessica let in this time? Last time, it was the plumber for Mr. Howards apartment and the guy had tried to take my television. What now?

"Jessica, I swear if this I –"

I froze in the doorway, the bat sliding from my fingers after a moment. There were two men standing in my kitchen, breathing heavy and trying to get to Jessica, who had somehow gotten onto the top of the fridge and was sandwiched tightly between the ceiling and the freezing box; I noticed the chair beside the fridge and then returned to the men. Their clothes were hanging in rags, one of them had on a bloody hospital gown.

He was missing a decent chunk of flesh from his right calf.

I looked back up at Jessica, something clicking in my brain; of course, I had never been all-the-way-there to begin with.

I shook my head, backing up slowly and Jessica wept. "Aunt Rae Rae!"

As she reached out for me, one of the men caught her arm in his nails and she screamed, being pulled from the top of the fridge into the fray. The other two men dove on her, ripping flesh from her stomach, her neck. I stared in mute and compliant horror before I grabbed the bat and headed for the door.

Outside, there was panic.

Chaos.

Fires, screaming, blood, twisted metal and other things.

People were running past me, screaming about how 'they' were coming. I figured who they were and shook my head, following behind a few military-dressed men and women, my body numb and my mind blank.

What had I just done?

_Aunt Rae Rae! Please!_

I'm a monster.

I'm a monster.

I didn't notice the men and women had stopped until I ran into one of them. I fell into the dirt, looking up at the curved metal a helicopter I hadn't realized was running. My hair flew around my face wildly and my robe was now soaked with mud; all the while, the military men and women stared down at me. One of them, a stern looking woman with red hair pulled into a bun on her neck, realized I wasn't going to speak and crouched down beside me, right hand firm on the pistol strapped to her hip.

"Speak, civilian," she ordered.

And I complied. "I-I just wanted to…"

"Escape," I nodded feverishly at her words; escape sounded good right now. "Well then, I guess we can take one more."

"But they sa-"

"I don't care what they said," she helped me to my feet, glaring at the other woman in the group; the pilot of the helicopter was screaming that we needed to go. "We can afford one more, can't just leave her out here to those infected."

Infected?

"Whatever," the other girl grumbled, climbing into the helicopter.

The red haired woman looked down at me while the rest of her 'friends' climbed into the helicopter. "Name?"

I looked up at her with wide eyes. "Izzy…just call me Izzy…"

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><p><strong><em>Feels sort of disconnected, but that was how I wanted it.<em>**


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